Kyiah Dangerfield, a senior at Santee Education Complex near Downtown Los Angeles, was hoping to attend an out-of-state university. She was looking forward to her senior year of high school, too, and everything that should mean. “We’re supposed to be having the time of our lives,” she said.

But COVID upended pretty much everything. Now, going away to college feels too risky. She’s also hesitant to leave her mom and sister. So she applied only to local schools. As for the traditional senior rituals (grad night, prom, homecoming, and at Santee, a cookout), “we haven't been doing any of it because of this horrible pandemic,” she said.

LAUSD Superintendent Austin Beutner did recently promise “some form of in-person graduation ceremony” for the class of 2021 if COVID rates continue to decline. But that’s of little comfort to Dangerfield. “I am feeling so boxed in,” she said. “I wish we could go back to the old days.”

Across LAUSD, there are thousands of stories like Dangerfield’s. It’s a rough year to be a high school senior.

“Educationally, I don’t think I’m learning nearly as much,” said Emma Bartholomew, a senior in the Humanities Magnet at Grover Cleveland High School in Reseda.

“Now it feels like we’re on break, but break with homework,” said Ngan Lam, a senior at Alliance Susan & Eric Smidt Technology High School in Lincoln Heights.

Lam is no fan of distance learning. “It’s very hard for me to learn things,” she said. “I’m more like a visual learner.” In AP Chemistry, for example, she said that because they don’t get to do labs, “it’s kind of hard to understand what is happening with the chemicals.”

Most of the barriers associated with distance learning won’t change even for those high school students who opted to return to campuses this week. They are still taking all their classes via Zoom.

If an assignment is confusing, you can’t just go up to the teacher and ask about it, said Emelie Reyes, a senior at Hamilton High School on South Robertson. (Like Dangerfield, Reyes is a member of Communities In Schools of Los Angeles.) “Now you have to write an email and wait for an answer,” she said.

Many students don’t even get to see their classmates on screen. In most of her classes, Nam said, “no one’s camera is on or talks.” Students type in chat. But it’s not the same as the animated discussions she is accustomed to in regular classes. “It’s like I am watching a video.”

Liam Fields knows the feeling. “The number one thing” he said he misses about school is “the personal connections with not even friends but classmates in general.” Fields, a senior in the College Prep and Digital Arts Magnet at Ulysses S. Grant High School in Van Nuys, also thinks online learning “creates a disconnect” with teachers. “Not just with knowing the teacher but with the teacher knowing us, especially with LAUSD schools because we’re not required to turn on our camera. What’s strange is that it’s gotten worse. At the beginning of the year, I turned my camera on for five out of my six classes. Now I turn it on for one because no one else really does. It’s hard on the students. I feel bad for the teachers as well. It definitely seems like a lot of teachers are yearning for that connection with the students. It’s just not there.”

In addition to the stresses of online school, some students also have had to get jobs to help support their families, either because a parent lost their job or because they got sick. Hamilton senior and CISLA member Christal Casillas’ situation is a little different. She started working at a UPS store in August. “I didn't get a job because my family was having a hard time getting by,” she said. “I wanted to provide support if we ever did need it, get a little off their shoulders. If my brother needed some school supplies or we needed to pay the internet bill, then I would be able to help.”

Despite working 24 hours a week and helping tutor and resolve computer issues for her 12-year-old brother, on top of attending her classes, she has been able to maintain her grades. “Sometimes it will be 12 at night and I’ll be doing homework,” she said. “But school doesn’t start as early as it did. I am able to manage it.” Still, some days are harder than others. “There were definitely days when you would lose motivation or didn’t want to do any assignments.”

COVID has also wreaked havoc on the college application process. While the UCs and Cal State schools along with many other colleges went test blind this year in recognition of the fact that many students were unable to take the SAT or ACT, others switched to “test optional.” But some of these test-optional schools are still using test scores to determine merit aid. That puts local seniors at a disadvantage since nearly all test dates in and around Los Angeles were cancelled. Some families with means registered their kids in Nevada or other parts of California where it was easier to secure a spot. But that wasn't an option for many LAUSD students, over 80% of whom live at or below the poverty line.

Fields feels lucky to have taken the SAT a year ago March, shortly before schools shuttered. He originally planned for that to be a practice round. Fortunately, he was pleased with his score. Nonetheless, like Dangerfield, he has adjusted his plans for college. “The majority of schools I applied to are out of state. Am I going to be able to move out of state during a time like this or even go to classes? Even in-state, is that really a safe option? It also feels like there’s this randomness of what colleges are going to do,” he said, alluding to the fact that some colleges are fully in person, some are remote, some are doing a mix, and others are welcoming some students on campus but not all. Not being able to visit the schools he applied to has made him feel less sure about his options. He has participated in several virtual college tours. But it’s not the same as stepping onto a campus.

Through virtual tours, Bartholomew said, “you can get a sense of what [colleges] look like. But there’s a vibe you can’t get from virtual tours.” And that vibe is often how students home in on particular schools.

Reyes said everything being virtual made simply applying to schools and filling out all the required forms “a bit difficult.”

“I did get assistance,” she said. “But it wasn’t the same as being in person.” Reyes is also worried about the transition back to in-person classes in college after so many months of Zoom school. “I feel like it is going to be a problem. I don’t write notes anymore. I’m just typing. I’m not highlighting. It’s really different to be honest. Now I’m in my pajamas all day in my room. I can eat whatever I want. All those restrictions I had at school, they’re gone. So I do think it’s going to be a bit difficult to be in a school environment again.”

Student athletes hoping to play competitively in college have also been impacted. According to Sharnell Blevins, Speak UP’s former Director of Advocacy for Equity and Diversity, and the mother of twin high school seniors (a girl and a boy) at Hamilton, while some elite athletes make verbal commitments to colleges as early as middle school, last summer and fall was when college scouts would normally be taking a close look at current seniors to fill out their roster with players like her daughter, who has been on the varsity basketball team, regarded as one of the city’s best, all four years. Blevins recalls how it was for her oldest daughter, also a basketball player.

“At the time, coaches would fly across the country to watch the girls they were recruiting,” she said. “They want to see how they are on the bench, how they are in the game. There’s more in any sport than just skills in a game. Coaches are looking at fit for their program. They’re looking at the whole child.” Athletes can and do send college coaches highlight reels. But that’s different from getting a courtside view.

Even with all of the hurdles and losses Los Angeles area seniors have endured, the students and their parents are able to see and appreciate the positives that have emerged during distance learning. Fields likes the block schedule that Grant has implemented and the addition of a homeroom period four days a week. There are only about 10 kids in his homeroom, and it’s a welcome opportunity, he said, to “check in and say hi.”

Lam said her teachers are reaching out more. She also is glad that so many universities have gone test blind. “I am really bad at taking tests,” she said. “I get anxiety. It doesn’t reflect who I am as a learner.”

Bartholomew agrees that the move away from standardized tests is the right thing, even if her own test scores likely would have helped her gain admission. (Like Fields, she took the SAT right before everything shut down.) “It’s not equitable. This levels the playing field.” Besides, she said, “the UCs were planning on going test blind anyway. This sped up the process.”

The most cited silver lining among the students and parents Speak UP interviewed was family time: family time they likely never would have gotten otherwise. “American teenagers aren’t supposed to be in their home with their parents 24-7,” said Blevins. Still, she is savoring every minute. “It’s so beautiful to actually have dinner time together and see how they are maturing.”

— Leslee Komaiko

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AT THE BOARD

The Senior Year that Wasn’t: The High School Class of 2021 Wraps Up Its Final Bittersweet Months